One year ago yesterday, I finished the surgical process for breast reconstruction. My amazing plastic surgeon removed my tissue expanders and placed my final, 550-cc implants. I only say the size because some people don’t get that after this process, I literally don’t have breast tissue, you have an implant in the place of what was there.
A year later, I have mixed feelings on how far I have come. On one hand, I thought that I would have less random nerve pain. I thought the chunks of skin in the front of my armpits would have smoothed out and felt less awkward/uncomfortable to the touch. I thought I would have settled into a fitness and healthy eating routine and lost all of the extra, I-am-depressed-I-have-cancer-and-let-myself-comfort-eat weight.
On the other hand, my scars look AMAZING and the exchange surgery was wildly successful so I don’t need any revisions. Since the final surgery, I was able to sit down with Tara at Pink Ink Tattoo which helped with the cosmetic finish so it’s less of a mind warp when I look in the mirror. I feel so much more comfortable in my skin and in control of my body again. Things are starting to feel more normal to the touch which is great. It’s never exciting to feel like your body feels fake.
I guess I am still settling into the new normal. It’s a work in progress. My body will never be the same but it’s still my body. I will never get used to the fact that because I don’t have a thick layer of my own circulation over the implants, it feels like ice packs on my chest when it’s cold. It’s definitely annoying not to be able to better regulate my temperature there, no matter how many layers I add. It’s also pretty great to know there’s no cancer growing in there either though so I think I will take it!